I swear this is a B-Movie, as there didn't seem to be any identifiable stars in it.

Anyway, this movie is a comedy. The movie must've come out late 80's to early 90's.

It was about a mob enforcer. He was a bit shorter than average height. Always wore a hat. The one thing I remember most about the main guy is that he had flat feet, as he would always bring this up.

His buddy was a bigger guy. I'm sure he was bald. He was a doofus, in the way he acted. He always tried to come up with the next big thing. In this instance, he had an idea for the Crazy Straw. Although it wasn't called that in the movie. It did have the design of crazy straws of today.

The movie was most likely set in a town or city with a dock. I'm sure it was Philadelphia, as it reminded me of Rocky.

At one stage in the film, someone needed to be "taken care of". I can't recall if it was the main guys or someone else. The hitman was special though. He always got his target. He found a way to kill a guy that never left his house, by modifying a gun and bullet to shoot the guy while he was on the toilet.

The woman in the film was blonde I'm sure. Thing is she was a transgender female. I remember the main guy being completely shocked upon discovery of this fact.

I think the someone died from heart failure after finding out this fact also.

In the end of the film, we get one of those "what happened to them" montages. The buddy did eventually call his idea the Crazy Straw and made a lot of money. And the main guy settled down with the woman.

As this was a long time ago, I'm sure I got some details wrong, mainly the woman's hair colour. And the description of the buddy.

But the main guy did definitely have flat feet. The woman was a transgender. And the hitman was always guaranteed a 100% record. I think he mentioned the fact that, at the end of the film, he now has a 99.5%(?) record, due to not killing either the guys, or the woman.

This was an American movie. White actors. The main guy reminds me a bit of John Turturro but maybe shorter. I'm sure it was shot in the late 80's, but it also might've been a 90's film. This was a straight-to-tape movie, as I watched this on cassette tape, VHS if you want more details. Not on DVD at the time. Cassette tapes were still in production. So I think I watched this movie sometime from 2003-2004.

1 Answer 1


You're looking for the off-beat comedy Mob Queen from 1998

Brooklyn Docks, 1957. If you're not a dockworker, mobster, or streetwalker, you don't belong in this neighborhood. Mob small fish George and Dip set up their boss Joey "The Heart" Aorta with Glorice, the new prostitute on the docks. They're ecstatic when the Mob Don falls madly in love with the sexy tart. But they soon discover this gorgeous broad is not at at all what she appears. If their boss finds out her secret, they'll get whacked for sure.

Everything you described is there: George is short, flat-footed and always wears a hat, his dimwitted bald buddy designs straws, and the hitman spares the transsexual prostitute (as she's his nephew). BTW, David Proval (George) and Tony Sirico (Aorta) went on to play major parts on The Sopranos. Here's the trailer (Warning: Crass):

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    epciness. thanks very much. didn't know the two starred in Sopranos. Then again, I still haven't come around to watch it.... Jul 27, 2016 at 7:29
  • No problem. And I daresay The Sopranos is slightly better than this one... ;) Highly recommended.
    – Walt
    Jul 27, 2016 at 7:31

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