In this film from the late 1970s/early 1980s, there are a collection of comedy sketches.

In the first, there are men dressed as sperm in diapers. Most are laying around lazily, while one is constantly working out to be the first to the egg.

At the end of the skit the lead sperm yells for everyone to go back because it is a blow job.

(Note: this sketch does not have Woody Allen in it.)

In another sketch, there is a drunk guy walking down the hall in a hotel. A guy has asked his wife to go out and get his shoes that were polished for him. When she goes out to get them, she is naked and the door closes behind her. As the drunk approaches, she uses the shoes to cover her private parts. The drunk looks her over and says something like, "That a boy, shorty, give her all you got."

I thought it was Kentucky Fried Movie, but it doesn't appear to be.

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    Hmm, someone was already looking for this. People thought it was Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex, but it doesn't seem so. Not marking as a duplicate, anyway, because this is much more detailed (and the old one was never resolved). – Walt Feb 7 '16 at 21:58

Wow, I actually do know this one, although I completely forgot about it (thankfully, if I'm quite honest): It's the 1977 raunchy sketch film Can I Do It 'Till I Need Glasses? (the sequel to If You Don't Stop It... You'll Go Blind!!! from 1975) which infamously briefly features a pre-"Mork & Mindy" Robin Williams, whose scenes were reintroduced into the film after he got famous. It contains the skit you describe: Sperm cells in diapers waiting for their moment, but once it comes, one of them proclaims:

Go back! Go back! It's a BJ!

The other one's there too; From an online review [Warning: Site contains mild nudity]:

Among the "jokes" on offer here [is] a variation on the one used in the first film, only with a naked woman, locked out of her apartment, holding a pair of shoes over her embarrassment. The punchline this time coming from a drunk passing in the hallway "'At a boy, shorty! Give her everything you've got".

I'll tentatively put the first skit here [BEWARE: ADULT THEMES]:

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    Wow. That was just awful. Amazing that you remembered the movie though! – BrettFromLA Feb 8 '16 at 21:10

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