12
votes

I saw a movie when I was about 5 years old, and the cartoonish antagonist in it became the monster under my bed. Here's what I remember:

  • Saw it in circa 1983, probably on HBO; I don't think it came out more than a year or two earlier. Probably American.

  • Low budget, probably direct-to-video.

  • Spaceship crew on some sort of mission, discovers alien life.

  • Alien is a one-eyed mass of red slime.

  • At least one woman on the crew.

  • The alien is placed in a containment unit with glass walls. Doctor/scientist assures crew that the alien is intelligent and friendly. He puts a device on the alien's head that translates its thoughts into English speech. The alien proceeds to do a song and dance routine, with lyrics about how much he wants to eat the crew. His voice sounds like Barry Manilow.

  • The doctor/scientist is oblivious to this explicit declaration of hostile intent, and assures the crew that the alien is, as he had already said, harmless. He enters the containment unit and the alien immediately tears off his arm and eats it. Very reminiscent of the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail. The doctor/scientist insists that the alien is merely playing. He is then devoured outright, with the possible exception of his calves and feet.

  • Alien goes on the rampage, eating the crew members one by one. Eventually, one or two survivors manage to eject the alien through an airlock.

  • The movie ends with the ship flying through space, and the words "The End" appearing on the screen. The camera pans out and we see the alien floating along behind the ship, and a question mark appears behind the caption - "The End?"

  • It was clearly a campy parody of Alien, and the production values, acting, writing, sets, and dialogue were absolutely appalling. In short, it shouldn't have frightened me at all, but I was a huge baby, so it utterly terrified me. I was probably the only person who was scared by it, and I imagine that there are no more than a few thousand other people who have seen it; I am absolutely certain that none of them enjoyed it in the slightest.

14
votes

It's The Creature Wasn't Nice (AKA Naked Space AKA Spaceship) from 1981 with Leslie Nielsen.

When the spaceship Vertigo stops to explore a previously unknown planet, the crew finds an unrecognized dollop of protoplasm and takes it aboard ship to return it to earth for analysis. On board, lifeform expands into an oozing person-eating monster which communicates primarily by means of a Vegas lounge act. The crew is gobbled up one after another until the two surviving crewmembers come up with a plan.

And from Wiki:

The movie is a low-budget comedy with simple sets and dialog wrapped around several musical numbers. In one of the scenes, the red slimy one-eyed alien monster performs a lounge-act style musical number called "I Want to Eat Your Face."

Here's the song, and here's your little friend:

enter image description here

  • I guess you're one of the few thousand other people who saw it. :) – Wad Cheber stands with Monica Nov 15 '15 at 6:40
  • 1
    AAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Why did you post a picture of the monster under my bed?!?!? :) – Wad Cheber stands with Monica Nov 15 '15 at 6:46
  • Fact: Worst movie Nielsen ever made. One of the worst movies ever, definitely the worst I've ever seen. Also, Cindy Williams (she of Laverne and Shirley fame) was in it. – Wad Cheber stands with Monica Nov 15 '15 at 6:48
  • 2
    This is it! So I had the same experience. I ran across this as a young child. When the arm was ripped off, it terrified me...traumatized to this day! Thanks so much for answering! I have been looking for this answer for years....so happy. – user30379 Jan 27 '16 at 15:08
  • 1
    @Mike Saw this when I was 5. That scene freaked me out for days. – Eric Brandel Feb 3 '16 at 16:42

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .