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I'm talking about the infamous Fifty Shades of Grey. It's good to declare at the beginning that I don't know nothing about the book.

Grey has a particular passion about physical attraction. He wants to play [dominant-submissive]. So we came to know that this particular passion he developed from his mother's friend Mrs. Robinson. Later he liked it and adopted it.

This portion is explained in the movie. But why does Grey avoid or want to avoid Anastasia's hand touch/touch with love? Anastasia wants something more than dating/movie watching/satisfying sexual fantasy. She wants to make love which Grey didn't allow (Ana's way). Even Grey didn't want to sleep in the same bed.

Anastasia keeps asking

Why can't we sleep in the same bed?

Why you won't let me touch you?

These sentences keep coming throughout the movie. Initially Grey keeps saying

This is how I am....

At one scene Grey admits there is some reason behind this.

Ana: Why don't you let me in? ....... Why you want to punish me at all?

Grey: If I told you, you'll never look at me the same way again

And they kept arguing and after some horrible punishment scene Ana left and the reason is kept inside a black-hole forever.

Question: what's the reason for which Grey doesn't allow anyone to touch him with love or doesn't allow anyone to feel him? Why is Grey the way he is?

Is the reason disclosed in the book? Or did the book finish the story where movie finished? Is the reason kept for a sequel? If so, let me know the reason anyway :)

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  • I've read all the books and you actually get to understand more of it in the sequels. So just wait for it! Or if you want just keep reading the book and that's all spoiled out.
    – CathVD
    Apr 16, 2015 at 13:21
  • Christian Grey has a phobia, it's all connected to his past especially in his old family. That's all. PS: currently reading the book 2.
    – user20576
    Apr 18, 2015 at 9:27

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I have not seen the movie, I've read only the 1st book. The book also ends the same way as it is in the movie like you mentioned.

What's the reason for which Grey doesn't allow anyone to touch him with love or doesn't allow anyone to feel him? Why is Grey the way he is?

(From book) Christian Grey is not the type who involves in relations or love. He's more into physical or carnal pleasures (Dom-Sub). Before Anastasia he had few other sub-missives. He intended to make Ana as his Sub-missive with the contract but slowly he falls for Ana.

In the beginning chapters, the reason he wouldn't allow Ana to touch him is part of being Dominant, tease her and to bring out physical pleasure for her in extreme levels and if Ana doesn't obey him and touches him anyway, then He would punish her.

In the latter chapters, Ana and Christian fall for each other but still he wouldn't allow her to touch him intimately or to take care of him. At this point, Ana is desperate to find out why Christian is the way he is, then she learns about Mrs. Robinson. (From book) She assumes that Christian was once played submissive for Mrs. Robinson when he was young and she did brutal and sadistic things to him like the cigarette burn marks on his chest.

Is the reason disclosed in the book? Or did the book finish the story where movie finished?

The points I mentioned above are the ones revealed about Christian from Anastasia's perspective about his intimacy issues. There were no other reasons disclosed from Christian's words. Based on your description, I think the 1st book also ended the same way as the movie.

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  • I thought it was simply a S/M thing: put a distance between the master and the slave or something like that...
    – mattiav27
    Mar 2, 2015 at 11:00
  • @mattiav27 yes, I've also mentioned that point - "the reason he wouldn't allow Ana to touch him is part of being Dominant".
    – chaitanya89
    Mar 2, 2015 at 11:03
  • There is still one point left. After falling for Ana, Grey admits "Contract doesn't matter anymore, Rule stays. Why is this rules can't be withdrawn" Specially this part isn't clear Grey: If I told you, you'll never look at me the same way again. Ana: So there is a reason! Grey already admitted the childhood abuse before,Ana knows that, this line expresses there is more to it. What's that? I'm beginning to think the book also didn't spread any light to it after seeing your answer. Lets see if there is any more point to it or it's the whole story.
    – AtanuCSE
    Mar 2, 2015 at 13:03
  • @AtanuCSE The point you're emphasizing is not revealed in the book, probably the real reason for Grey's intimacy issues will be revealed in the next books. Good luck.
    – chaitanya89
    Mar 3, 2015 at 5:44

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