When Tyler Durden got up after meeting the Narrator (AKA Jack), he stated the following:

Now, a question of etiquette – as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?

This was in reference to getting up out of his seat and scooting past Jack, asking if his buttocks or pelvic area should face him. Is this a common thing to say in similar situations, or did Chuck Palahniuk write this?

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    Are you asking whether "question of etiquette" is a known phrase in English or whether it is a frequently used phrase? Because I'm not sure how often people talk about etiquette at all - but it is certainly known to me. "Common" is a little vague.
    – iandotkelly
    Oct 5, 2021 at 10:05
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    The phrase itself 'question of etiquette' is not the focus here. It is the phrase that follows. Oct 5, 2021 at 14:37
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    It’s, “do I give her the ass or the crotch”, referring to the flight attendant that he has to sidle past. I’m sure someone somewhere has talked about this with friends. Perhaps it’s a thing more common for men and boys, but I’ve certainly thought many times about which is the more polite way to pass close to someone. Oct 6, 2021 at 1:45
  • @ToddWilcox here's the clip. I can clearly hear "do I give you the ass or the crotch". Do you hear something different?
    – Juhasz
    Nov 4, 2021 at 17:57

1 Answer 1


Would anyone actually discuss this? No, most likely not. It's more like an inner dialogue, like handing another person a pair of scissors you always point the blade towards yourself.

Tyler and the narrator, after all, were the same person, so voicing an inner dialogue makes sense.

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    The spoiler makes the point made in this answer moot, as it precludes the issue of Tyler needing to pass by the narrator and aiming their crotch or ass at the narrator's face.
    – Flater
    Oct 7, 2021 at 21:49
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    @Flater - This scene was actually directed towards a flight attendant, not the narrator. The OP was incorrect in the facts surrounding the event. reddit.com/r/MovieDetails/comments/767mlt/… Oct 8, 2021 at 12:26

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