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In season 2 episode 7 of Archer, Rona Thorne suggests using a kelp tape cleansing technique. I was able to find some reference to kelp as a cleanser on the Google, but nothing mentioning 'tape' explicitly. Is this a real thing?

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up vote 3 down vote accepted

I have located a couple references to it, but am not sure it isn't a joke. Many references are very recent, and lead back to Archer, but one leads to a free-form Q&A forum where the specific topic is 'detox'. Kelp Tape is part of the answer. The answer is disgusting, and again, I am not sure it is for real. Further down the thread we come right back to Archer. My most fun answer was the one that went 'Ew. Ew. Ew.'

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Update - continued searching leads to more circuits back to Archer. I'm demoting this to 'improbable', but funny, depending on your sense of humor. – wbogacz Mar 25 '12 at 2:32
You got farther than I did. I can't decide if I want it to be a real thing or wouldn't surprise me if it is. – user977 Mar 25 '12 at 3:27

Here is a podcast of an interview with Maxon Crumb which references the documentary during which Maxon claims to swallow purification cloth which cleanses the intestines. Shatkarma: Yoga Cleansing Techniques include swallowing a 3" by 20' piece of water-soaked muslin, allowing it to stay in the stomach for 5 minutes, and then pulling it out very slowly (so, no, it is not pulled out the other end, and no, it is not made of kelp). This technique is combined with a second enema-like technique (see link) which cleanses the rest of the digestive tract.

A kelp tape is improbable on many counts. First, kelp would digest, particularly if left for three days. Second, the chance that the tape would continue on its own through the intestines without jamming up, well, this just gets too gross. Finally, even if it were possible, you would be keeping the pyloric valve between stomach and intestine open for 3 days. Issues of bacteria growing and bile seeping into the stomach come to mind - neither very purifying!

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